Pretty flowers can’t pay my bills

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for some advice. I am 21 years old and my boyfriend sends me flowers every week.

I was excited when I saw the flowers for about three weeks straight and the other women told me how much this guy loves me. But I am tired of getting flowers from him. It is not that I don't appreciate the flowers, but what I really need is cash. I have bills to pay, so the money that my boyfriend is taking to buy me flowers should be given to me to help me pay my bills.

I am still living at my parents' home, but I have to help them buy food and contribute to the light bill. Plus my father is diabetic and I have to assist him with his bills. I know that my boyfriend is not responsible for these things, but you see where I am going, don't you? I cannot eat the flowers; I love them but they fade. Sometimes my boyfriend brings lunch. I am not ungrateful, but I need cash. This man has never given me more than $10,000 and that was for Valentine's Day. He bought me a cell phone for my birthday, but it was not an expensive one and he has a good job. I go to his home and I clean his apartment and as soon as I shower, we have sex.

I want to know how to deal with this man. Should I tell him the amount of money I need for him to give me each week if this relationship will continue? He takes care of his car more than he takes care of me. Do you think I am unfair to him? I do not want to be blunt. I am tired of the flowers; I need money. Help me to approach this matter in the right way.

R.W.

Dear R.W.,

It is time for you to level with this man. I know a preacher who was away on a preaching assignment.

His wife became ill but he was unable to get home before he completed his assignment. He sent his wife flowers every day and she appreciated those flowers. The preacher said that it cost him a lot of money to do so, but by sending her flowers, what he was saying was that he loved her, he would soon be home, and he was trying to cheer her up. Flowers can express love more than words because some men don't have any lyrics at all. So flowers can express what a man has in his heart.

Listen to me - tell this man what you need. Let him know that you need money. You need very personal things to take care of yourself. He should use common sense to know that you have to make contributions at home to assist your parents. You do not want to sound greedy, but tell him that he should save some of the money that he uses to buy you flowers and give you the cash. Please do not forget to express gratitude to your boyfriend for the flowers.

Pastor