Convinced my boyfriend is sleeping with his sister

Dear Pastor,

I turned 19 a month ago and my boyfriend is in his 50s. Things used to be happy and cheerful between us until I went through his phone.

I realised that not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Yes, there's an age difference, but I don't get judged for it because my mother and a few of my friends know him; and his relatives know of me. Since the time we met, he has been promising to give me the world, and I love a man who fulfils his promises. He does everything, from sending me back to school to even getting me the latest iPhone. He is currently helping me to start a business and get my own place. Everything has been going great between us. He booked his flight to Jamaica for my birthday and he's been here since the start of September.

We have been good. We went out, I enjoyed my birthday, but the intimacy was kind of off. I didn't know why, but sex between us was always okay, and I would say it's the best part. But recently when we tried having sex, it seemed like he wasn't turned on by me. But I looked past it because he's older, and I understand that sometimes older men can have erectile issues, especially when they're on medication. So I paid it no attention. Fast-forward to a few weeks ago, when we decided to go on the road. He saw his friend and pulled over. They were talking and I saw that his phone was open, so I looked through it. I started losing weight immediately. The first instinct came to my mind was to type in 'sex'. To my surprise, his sister's contact popped up and let me tell you, Pastor, my sugar level went down and my pressure went up. What kind of conversation is that? I checked the date on the chat and it was 12 days after my birthday. Then I realised the reason why he couldn't perform during sex is because he already got enough, and because his body isn't as young, it gave him a warm time to perform such activities again.

Pastor, it's not the first time he did something like this, except in the other case he was about to cheat, but his plans didn't work. It doesn't faze me either, but when I tell you that I cried my eyes out; I cried and went home. I couldn't stay around him for another minute, and I won't confront him because I don't know how to make light of the situation. Having sex with your own sister? I am sure it's his sister because that couldn't be any coincidence; his mistress and sister have the same picture and name. I am starting to wonder if I am the fool, because I am no saint, either; but there's plenty of evidence pointing to that person being his sister.

I just wanted to clear my chest. I am not understanding what is going on. I don't even know if I can see him before he leaves, because I am sick to my stomach. I can't confront, him because he will ask what I was doing in his phone.

C.P.

Dear C.P.,

I suggest you confront this man and tell him that you suspect that he is having an intimate relationship with his sister and he should not deny it, because you have seen it on his phone.

Tell him you are no longer comfortable in having him as your boyfriend, because you don't want to associate with a man who is engaging in incest. If he is not guilty, and you are wrong, he should explain what you have seen in his phone.

You are only 19 years old. You should try your very best to get a job and support yourself. If indeed this man is guilty of having sex with his sister, you should end your relationship with him.

Pastor