I have never had a serious relationship

Dear Pastor,

I will be 30 soon and I am writing because I am a bit depressed and frustrated. I have never been in a serious relationship.

I am not sure what I am doing wrong. People always tell me that I am beautiful. I keep in shape and I have a good job, but I cannot seem to find love. I started talking to a man a few months ago; he said he liked me and he wanted us to be together, but I later found out that he only wanted sex. I wouldn't hear from this man for many days, and then he would just pop up like nothing happened and he expected me not to question him or say anything about his behaviour. This man only talked about having a child but his behaviour was not of someone who wanted to be a father or to support a spouse. I told him I would not have a child unless I am married. I also told this man not to contact me any more because he wasn't serious about me and he only wanted to use me.

I would love to get married and have a family, but it's so difficult to find a good man in Jamaica. Right now, I am single and I plan to stay this way until someone genuine comes along, but sometimes I get worried that I might never find someone and my time is running out.

Xoxo

Dear Xoxo,

Let me begin by telling you that you are a wise young lady, and you shouldn't give up on finding a good partner.

You are only 29 years old and you should try and remember that not everybody gets married in their 20s. Some people who got married in their 30s have had stable relationships, and raised children who love them. So, I urge you not to give up and to pray every day and you will find a good man. Both of you will genuinely love each other and get married. This man who told you that he liked you but stayed away from you for days, was a joker in the pack. He is either a playboy or someone who had another woman. So you were wise to end the relationship with him.

I have said before in my column and I repeat it now, no man, regardless of his job, can be too busy for his girlfriend or to make time for her. The busiest politician in Jamaica or businessman makes time for the woman he loves. It is also true that the busiest woman makes time for the one she loves. So I thank you for sharing your problem with me and I assure you of my prayers.

I regret that you did not give me a little background about yourself, such as your education, and what type of work you do, so that if any guy calls me and says that he is interested, I can speak intelligently about you. But I will not be surprised if some men will either call or text me and say "Please give this girl my number and I will talk to her." I would like you to know that I will not give everybody your information or forward any information to you because in doing so, you may get you very depressed if you were to find out that they are not genuine.

I wish you well. I repeat, I will be praying for you.

Pastor